12 Steps to Financial Wellness Series Step 4: Have the Money Talk with Your Partner

Talking about finances with your partner may not be your idea of a shared romantic moment but communicating openly about managing your money is crucial for having an honest and trusting relationship. It’s pretty common knowledge that arguing about money is the leading cause of divorce in the U.S., and no one wants to be the following statistic. Unfortunately, though, people often grow defensive when discussing how they choose to spend their money. How can two partners have a calm, productive discussion about money?

We’ve compiled six tips to help guide you in this super-important conversation.

1. Plan the discussion in advance

It’s never a good idea to bring up a potentially explosive topic without warning. Instead, broach the subject to your partner a few days before you want to have the “Big Money Talk” and ask if you can have an open discussion about money sometime soon. This way, you’ll each have time to prepare the details you’d like to talk about, and you’ll both be ready to focus on the conversation without distractions.

2. Start with a vision

Instead of starting the conversation by bringing up a time your partner overspent or wondering aloud why your better half doesn’t seem to be saving enough for the future, start with a vision you can both share. For example, you can talk about how wonderful it would be to take a luxury vacation to the Cayman Islands or how you’d love to start saving for a home. This way, you are communicating a shared dream and putting a positive spin on your money talk, setting the tone for the rest of the conversation.

3. Listen carefully to your partner

You may be the more responsible or detail-oriented partner, but it’s still important to listen carefully to what your partner says. Your partner will have their ideas about money management, and you may be surprised at the insights they have to share into your spending habits or expensive vices.

4. Talk openly about sharing expenses and savings

You may decide to share the costs, split them evenly, have each partner cover different costs, and pool your savings at a certain point in your relationship. Whether you’ve already reached that level with your partner or plan to bring up the topic now, be sure to talk openly about the way you feel so you can avoid future resentment. For example, if you earn more than your partner, should you split expenses evenly? Can one partner take additional financial responsibilities, such as paying the bills, instead of contributing an equal amount of income to the pot? If one partner goes over budget, will they be responsible for patching up the difference by contributing more money? All these questions, and more, are important to discuss upfront to help prevent future blowups and hurt feelings.

Consider linking one of your accounts or opening a shared account at Members Choice CU. We’ve got convenient checking and saving accounts to suit every preference. Just stop by and ask how we can help.

5. Consider having a slush fund

Sharing expenses and a budget can be liberating in a partnership, but it can also feel constricting. Sometimes, you want to splurge without explaining the purchase to your partner. You may also want to spend money on a surprise gift for your partner without them knowing you’ve just dropped a large sum of money on an expensive purchase. Having a slush fund, or money set aside for your personal “just for fun” spending, can help you maintain a sense of independence and keep some of your purchases private. You can save this fund in a separate checking account under your name at Members Choice CU.

6. Set up a weekly or bi-weekly time to talk money

You don’t need to have the Big Money Talk every week, but it is good to chat about finances once a week or once every two weeks. You can talk about recent purchases, significant expenses coming up soon, surprise bills, and more. Setting aside time to talk about money will keep the stressful money arguments from your everyday conversations.

You did it! You had the money talk with your partner, and you are closer than ever. Be sure to stick to your commitments and to bring up any money issues that may arise during your regular money talks for continued harmonious collaboration about all financial matters.

Whether you need help preparing a new budget, are struggling with debt, or want to repair your credit score, we’re here for you. Take the first step and call us with your questions at 606.329.7876. Members Choice CU offers a free Money Management Program, where you will connect with an expert financial counselor. We’ll help you understand your situation, learn about options, and make a plan to meet your goals. The Members Choice Credit Union Money Management Program is accessible to anyone in our community.